Thanksgiving Planning While Co-Parenting Across Borders
Tips for Handling Travel, Time Zones, and Cultural Expectations with Shared Custody
For many families, Thanksgiving is a cherished time to gather, reflect, and reconnect. But for co-parents navigating custody across international or long-distance borders, this holiday can come with emotional and logistical challenges that go far beyond who carves the turkey.
Whether you are dealing with time zone differences, cross-border travel, or conflicting holiday traditions, planning Thanksgiving in a co-parenting dynamic requires flexibility, communication, and a child-focused mindset. Here is how to approach this season with less stress—and more connection.
Start Planning Early—Really Early
When international travel is involved, last-minute changes are rarely simple. From passport renewals and flight bookings to legal permissions, the logistics demand advance planning.
Key things to confirm early:
Custody schedule for the holiday
Travel documentation (passports, visas, parental consent forms)
Flight availability and travel restrictions
School calendars if travel spans school days
The earlier you coordinate plans with your co-parent, the more options you will have—and the fewer surprises you will face.
Follow (and Review) Your Parenting Plan
Most custody orders and parenting plans address holiday schedules, but not all account for international situations. Review your agreement to clarify:
Who gets the child for Thanksgiving in odd or even years
How long the child can travel internationally
Requirements for written consent before travel
Drop-off and pick-up responsibilities
If your agreement does not cover international holidays—or if it is no longer practical—consider working with your attorney or mediator to update it. Clear, legally sound terms reduce conflict and protect everyone’s rights.
Work Around Time Zone Differences
If your child will be with your co-parent for Thanksgiving in another country or state, it is important to maintain connection—even from afar. That said, different time zones can make even a simple video call challenging.
Tips to manage time zones effectively:
Schedule video chats in advance and stick to them
Consider the child’s school schedule and meals
Use shared calendars or co-parenting apps for reminders
Be flexible and gracious with timing
A 15-minute call during dinner prep might not seem like much, but it can mean the world to a child missing their other parent.
Respect Cultural Differences and Traditions
Thanksgiving is a major holiday in the U.S., but it may not hold the same meaning—or any at all—in other countries. If your co-parent lives abroad or comes from a different cultural background, it is important to respect their traditions as well.
Instead of insisting on a “perfect” American-style holiday, consider:
Creating new, blended traditions
Hosting a virtual Thanksgiving dinner together with the child
Encouraging your child to celebrate both cultural identities
Flexibility and cultural awareness can turn a point of conflict into a source of enrichment for your child.
Be Flexible with “Thanksgiving Day”
If you are not with your child on the actual holiday, do not let that ruin the celebration. Kids do not care what the calendar says—they care about quality time, good food, and happy memories.
Consider celebrating:
Before the official holiday, if you are seeing them earlier
After Thanksgiving, turning it into a weekend event
Virtually, with shared meal prep and stories over video chat
Creating your own traditions around when and how you celebrate can help take the pressure off—and make the holiday feel special no matter what day it lands on.
Keep the Focus on the Child
As with any co-parenting challenge, keeping your child’s well-being at the center is key. It can be tempting to fight for “your time” or dwell on what feels unfair, but a combative mindset only adds stress for your child.
Ask yourself:
How can we make this transition easier for them?
What would make them feel connected and loved—by both parents?
Are we giving them the freedom to enjoy the holiday, or forcing them to choose sides?
Even if you are missing the holiday, do not guilt your child or criticize the other parent. Encourage them to enjoy themselves and remind them you will celebrate together soon.
Have a Backup Plan
International co-parenting arrangements are more vulnerable to unexpected disruptions—flight delays, illness, political instability, or last-minute visa issues can all interfere with plans.
Make sure you:
Have alternate travel arrangements in place
Know how to get emergency legal help if needed
Share local contact information with your co-parent
Keep lines of communication open during the trip
Having a plan B ensures you are not scrambling if something goes wrong—and helps your child feel secure, no matter what.
Final Thoughts
Thanksgiving is about gratitude, family, and connection. For co-parents separated by borders, those things may look a little different—but they are still achievable. With planning, flexibility, and a willingness to put your child’s needs above holiday expectations, you can turn what might feel like a logistical nightmare into a meaningful, memorable season.
No matter where your child eats their Thanksgiving meal, they will remember how you handled it: with grace, love, and the spirit of cooperation. And that is something to be truly thankful for.
To discuss your personal circumstances, please schedule a consultation with our team here.